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Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Oooh... I'm getting old. Old I tell you!
The Tan-In-A-Can? Weeelll... it came out in a burst resembling drinking chocolate so I frantically rubbed it in, resulting in slightly orangey knee patches and fronts of ankles - and still white legs. No, tell a lie, it's more Dulux Peach White or Crab Shell. No hangover, because I'm a good drinker who alternates hard booze with soft stuff and I hate the out-of-control feeling that being drunk gives me, but I was absolutely shattered by 9pm Sunday night! The Hubster and sproglets went down to the beach whilst I stayed behind to wrap Christmas presents.
Father Christmas is bringing that good old Kiwi garden staple; a boinga-boinga. 12' diam. with safety nets... that's going to be fun to erect at 11pm in the dark on Christmas Eve when we've had a few! No, I haven't tried to wrap that; I did the stocking fillers. It's getting harder and harder to hide the gifts because there is no real hideaway storage... they're in the wardrobe with my old winter coat slung over them! Luke will turn nine in the new year and he still believes in Father Christmas. Each year, since he was about six, I've expected some snotty nosed, ugly little scroat of a kid to tell him the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. My mum thinks he will be bullied if he believes any longer. She turned to me in my teenage years and said, "Father Christmas stops coming when you turn 16," and bugger me he did too! Yet when we spend Christmas with The Hubsters family, he visits their house.
Talking of which, my MIL is in hospital in the UK today having a gall stone operation, before travelling back to France for Christmas. I don't think she realises she will be in pain for a good few weeks and as most of France is covered in a thick, white, snowy blanket I think they may stay in the UK a bit longer. She should have flown out here to recuperate - it's getting to be nice now. My car is in for a service (gulp) so I am having a lazy morning, drinking coffee, dunking biscottis and blog hopping so I should be round at yours anytime soon.
Friday, November 25, 2005
I'm a holiday snob; I get it from my mother. She worked full time and was adamant that on her holiday she was not cooking and making beds, which is a fair point but we never really went anywhere as we couldn't afford those sort of holidays. To this day, she still doesn't own a passport!!! Unbelievable, I know.
I have grave concerns about this tenting-thing. It is the only way we can afford to tour around New Zealand and see what this country has to offer and I know the children will find it wonderful. I'm not too sure about me though. For example, The Hubster came home yesterday with details of a site who's main facilities are cold showers and toilets. The other had no shower and drop toilets, but was in a beautiful location up North. That's where we're hoping to head as it's warmer. It took me all my time to stay in a UK caravan park, although I am now a convert to them. They make a fantastic, cheap base from which to go sightseeing for the day and you can spend a little time on the park entertaining the children so they don't get too bored doing the 'grown-up' stuff. But a caravan's not a tent. It's dry and has beds, sofas, cooker, microwave, heaters, wardrobes, mirrors, somewhere to plug my straightening irons in and a private shower and toilet!!! And call me fussy, but I'd like a warm shower and preferably somewhere I can do laundry if need be, re-freeze my thawed freezer packs and a place to buy bread and milk from.
Yeah, I know... some folk want it all and a bag to put it in.
Anyway, I have a bit of a do to attend tomorrow night and have bought fake tan. I'm not very good with fake tan. Had the streaky, orange legged disaster waaay back in High School and I learnt my lesson. This is the tan-in-a-can variety which I've never used (have foresaken trusty Clarins to try this) but I figure because you spray it on, it will be easier to control and a fine mist will allow me to build up the colour. Too shit scared to put it on my face or neck or arms, but they don't look pasty white - my legs, on the other hand, are illuminous. I'm too tired to have a go now though as I had my friend's children sleepover last night. Had to get them all to different schools on time this morning and then I did Kindy duty at Issy's school and now she's asking me to take her to the park now and I don't want to go... I just want to have an afternoon nap. My God I'm getting old.
Monday, November 21, 2005
Can't stop; till trying to get the fucker back in the bag it came in!
Sunday, November 20, 2005
We've bought a tent. An all singing, all dancing tent. I was hoping for one like the children have...
Step 1: Take tent out of bag.
Step 2: Shake tent and voila... up it sproings.
Step 3: Relax and enjoy.
At 2 pm we started to errect it; by 2.15pm we'd conceded defeat. "You'd think a tent of this size would have instructions," I bemoaned to The Hubster. He agreed and got on the phone to the shop we purchased it from. "Yes we should have instructions and they'll happily fax them to us if we give them the number." I stared at the phone incredulously, mouth gaping like one of Issy's fish. Fax? Fax?! Do people still fax?! We asked if they'd scan the instructions and email them to us but that function probably won't be widespread in N Z until 2010, just in time for the Rugby World Cup that we are all set to host and so The Hubster had to hop into the car and go collect them. *sigh* I am now awaiting his return in anticipation of commencing all the fighting and arguing that putting a tent up always entails. Oh what a beautiful Sunday!
Friday, November 18, 2005
Busy day today; morning consisted of the transformation of my mono brow into two arched ones and the de-fuzzing of legs. That, plus the haircut on Monday, and I feel so, so, so much better about myself. This afternoon entailed a trip to the fishy shop to see why Issy's fishies are ailing. Came away with a scrubber sponge to shift the algae from the sides, a water plant to help oxygenate the water and instructions on performing a partial water change. *tut*
"I've done that; the bloody thing only became dirty after we did that at weekend," I moaned.
"Ah well, give it a good scrub and do it again and see how you get on. What colour is the algae?" the fish meister enquired.
"Greeney-blue. With brown splodges," I replied. "Why?"
"Well green hues suggest too much light whilst brown ones indicate a lack of light. And you say you have both?"
"Yes, I have both, so what does that mean?" I asked, totally flummoxed.
"It means you might have to shift the tank," he quipped. Then he narrowed his eyes and squinted at me. "You a Pom*?"
Oh God here we go... let's end the day Pommie Bashing.
"Yup, I am," I said, proudly pulling myself up to my maximum height of 5 foot and a tab end.
"My dad's a Pommie; well, he's been here for 40 years so I guess he's one of us now," he drawled.
I paid for my purchases and as I walked out the door mumbled, "Aye, but I bet you're all on a British passport!"
(Pommie: Used as a disparaging term for a British person, especially a recent immigrant.)
Thursday, November 17, 2005
When we sold our home in the UK we promised each of the sproglets a gift of their choice. Luke wanted a PS2 game and Issy wanted goldfish. We got the money through the other week and went shopping. Oh. My. God. These bloody fish are the hardest to look after!
Gloria is the gold comet and Google, the Black Moor. He had a ragged tail when we bought him which has got worse and worse and now he struggles to swim. We think he has fin rot. Cause: poor water conditions. Oh. We also thought you could just plonk them in a bowl and that would be the end of it. Nooooo. There's tank cleaning, partial water changes twice a month, full water changes every other month and that's once you got the damn thing established. We did the partial water change and siphoned their shit from the gravel last weekend and now the tank has green and brown algae coating the sides. WTF??? If this is what happens when it's cleaned I shan't bloody bother next time. Fuck 'em.
Only I can't can I, because I would have the death of my daughter's prized pets on my hands and I couldn't cope with the guilt. So they are now cruising in a blue bucket next to the fridge and tomorrow I will no doubt have to part with more sodding money to keep these $12 (5 quid) goldfish alive. Unless they go belly up by breakfast time.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A SAHM
SAHM - Stressed-At-Home-Mother.
8.oo am - up, wash, dress myself and my two children. Make breakfast. Ah - can't. Luke has already done that for him and his sister and is now preparing his sandwiches for school. OK, I'll have a coffee then run them both to school as I have busy day ahead of me as a SAHM.
9.00 am - Meet with Hev outside Kindy and go Posh Frock Shopping (for her, not me. Sadly) Do we have time for a coffee? Perhaps just a quick one.
12.00 pm - Collect daughter from Kindy, eat lunch of cream cheese and ham bagel and umm... coffee? Why not?
2.00 pm - Take Elissa for play date with her friend. Would I like to come in for coffeee? Let me think... oh that would be lovely! Thankyou.
3.15 pm - Collect son from school. Visit Alex. Do I have time to stay for coffee? How awfully kind of you. Refusal would be bound to offend.
5.00 pm - Back home; gee what a hard day. Perhaps a coffee would help perk me up? Yes. Yes, that's right. Nice cup of coffee would see me through. How marvellous!
Friday, November 11, 2005
GIFTS GALORE From overseas:- See the Ruby and Millie lipgloss at the front? From my Granny! lol. From The Hubster and sproglets:-
From new friends:-
See the Ruby and Millie lipgloss at the front? From my Granny! lol.
From The Hubster and sproglets:-
I love my new bag from The Hubster. Desperately needed an across the body, messenger style bag as my Tinky Winky bag, as the children call it, is a real handbag. I bought the Tinky Winky bag (gorgeous red, butter-soft leather) once Issy was out of nappies. I longed for a bag that wasn't ginormous; something that would hold a purse, keys, lipgloss and mobile phone... not wipes, nappies, cream, bibs, change of clothes etc. Well now I need a bag to hold at least wipes and tissues again for all those messy ice-creams and when we eat out, which we can do now she's older, but I also find I need to be more 'hands free' when browsing in all those shops that you couldn't get a pram in!
Hev looked at it. "S'bigger than mine", she sniffed. I smiled.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
'APPY BIRFDI TO ME!
*sigh* Another year older.
Am now, officially, in my mid thirties. In fact you couldn't be any more mid thirties than I am today. The photo isn't actually a birthday photo but it's me a la party mode in Effes Turkish restaurant, Manchester, having a bit of a 'do' before I left for N Z. That's my mother, there on the right. It was only taken... *thinks hard*... 7 months ago, so it's a pretty accurate glimpse of moi. The hair is longer and greyer as I haven't touched it since I came here and I usually wear glasses. All I see when I look at that picture is that my fingers are like chipolatas! Must lose weight. Not today though, eh. Not on 'mi birfdi'. Nah. Besides which I've already been out for two frothy al pacinos and a big slice of carrot cake this morning *big grin*. The Hubster says he will be home early and we'll go out for tea with the children and did I want pavlova or sponge or chocolate cake.
What does he mean, "or"?
Sunday, November 06, 2005
BLOODY GUY FAWKES
If it hadn't been for this guy, my letterbox would not resemble this mess.
Friday, November 04, 2005
KINDY FIELD TRIP
Whereby you stick 30-odd 3 and 4 year olds in a field and leave them there Hansel and Gretel style, no?
It's where child-weary mothers tramp into the woods (maybe that's where the Hansel and Gretel confusion materialised) sacrificing those oh-so-precious few hours of child-free biscuit munching and Oprah watching to help their precious offspring, and those of other mums who were clever enough to "have something on on that day", rip up leaves and stir 'potions' contained within a paper cup, with sticks full of bugs and bug poo and then smell their delightful pot pourri created from the forest floor.
Well at least it didn't rain.
This Field Trip took place at the Arataki Visitors Centre, here in Auckland. The 11m high Pou (guardian post) at the entrance, represents ancestors of Te Kawerau a Maki and is one of the largest of its kind in New Zealand. Or as we all saw it, a big, maori carving of big, maori men with big, maori... well, take a look yourself.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
FROST FREE Y'all jealous yet? Huh? Huh?
I have a new fridge.
Y'all jealous yet? Huh? Huh?
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
We went to a Halloween party, well just one for the sproglets. I am gutted as I didn't think they celebrated it here as they don't in Australia, so I gave all my spooky stuff away before I moved. However, I am on a steep learning curve that New Zealand is not very much like Australia... as if the two try to do anything and everything to distance themselves from each other. The sproglets had fun, until it was time to leave.
We found Luke spread eagled on the floor behind the sofa, hiding from the girls who'd been playing kiss-chase with him. Poor mite... he was like a hunted deer! When I hauled him to his feet he burst into tears. Turns out that as he was hard to catch, the girls had taken to spitting at him instead! I mean URGH!!! I HATE SPITTING; I hate to see sportsmen do it along with the old men of the streets in the Middle East. In fact my friend's daughter used to make that horrible hocking noise in the back of her throat when she was just two years old and we found out she was copying the guys who tended the gardens on the compound. Huh, soon had that nipped in the bud, let me tell you!
Anyway, sufice to say I had words with all the children responsible before I left... and it wasn't even a party at our home. I hope we're invited back one day.
picture from Getty Images
edited using Adobe Photoshop CS2